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I have been back in the states now for a week. The first few days I was here I thought I was doing great and that I wasn't having a hard time adjusting, but I have been having a difficult time. I have been feeling pretty depressed and lost. I went from being around guys in recovery every day to just trying to raise support back in the states. I really miss being in Quepos doing what I was doing. As difficult as it was at times there, I really, really, miss being around the guys. I went to house church last night and felt like I was able to come out of my funk. I have been feeling lonely, out of place, and stressed. I was able to share with my friends what my experience was like. I was laying in bed kind of replaying yesterdays events and I thought about the program men. There was quite a bit of confrontation at times and I had to make some tough decisions as far as letting guys in the program or dismissing them. Some guys chose to leave on their own.....out time was often spent trying to convince them that they are making a bad decision. Some of these guys lived a hard life...I mean, they have had a way harder road than I ever had. Some had been in gangs, or still are.....My point is....I feel like I got to witness God begin a work in them. I saw a guy cry who probably hasn't cried since he was a baby. I saw one guy from El Salvador who had been walking the wrong way start asking questions about God and try to do right.....Even thought the men make bad choices and we have to deal with attitudes we get to see God begin a work in them....seeds are planted and watered. I mean guys come in hopeless and even when they leave early they still are going to have hope. I could ramble on forever and I feel like I cannot express how Christ changes people from the inside out. AHhh!